Random Conversation with My Kid about Happiness

Took a vacation day today to hang out with Shannon and go to her school orientation. Whether she admits it or not, she likes it when I do this... Later...

Shan: “I am in such a good mood that if you wanted me to walk to the moon, I … well ... wouldn’t because I don’t want to go outside.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Greeters

I was telling Shannon a story about what happened in Walmart tonight.

Me: “As I was walking out, I held up my receipt to the elderly clerk at the door. He said, ‘You have a good day now.’ And I said, ‘You don’t need to check this?’ He replied, ‘You have an honest heart, and you have an honest face. Have a blessed weekend.’”

Shan: “I would have said, ‘You’re kinda creepy. Now I’m gonna leave with all the sh*t I just stole.’”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Dogs

Sitting in the living room with Shan, watching Kaylee the Superpup.

Shan: “She’s been acting real unpuppy-like lately.”

Me: “That’s because she just turned one, which means she is seven in human years.”

Shan: “Aw, that means that when she rides in the car she’ll be like,‘are we there yet, are we there yet?’”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Pop Culture

Tonight Shannon came into the living room when her dad and I were watching an old TV show from the 70s.

Shan: “What’s that show?”

Me: “Kojak.”

Shan: “Wasn’t Kojak the evil dog?”

Me: “That was Cujo.”

Shan: “Ohhh…”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Politicians

A few minutes after the Naiveté chat…

Shan: “What’s for dinner?”

Me: “Pasta.”

Shan: “Red or white sauce?”

Me: “Red.”

Shan: “Ugh. Okay. With meat?”

Me: “It’s not even worth it without the meat. (giggle) That came out wrong!”

Shan: “So you’re naïve and you have a dirty mind. Oh my God, you’re Bill Clinton!”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Naiveté

Shan: “You are so naïve sometimes.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Shan: “Our neighbor’s barn caught on fire today.”

Me: “Oh no, are they okay? Wait. Which neighbor?”

Shan: “See what I mean. Naïve.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Patriotism

Walking around Walmart with Shan. For no particular reason, we both start talking to each other using an English accent. (Me pathetically, and her very well. She sounds like Hermione Granger.)

This goes on for several minutes.  Then –

Me: “I just realized something. We are having Talk Like a British Person Day on the FOURTH OF JULY!”

Shan: “I know right? Seems highly unpatriotic.”

We just look at each other, both shrug, chuckle, and say: “Oh well!”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Bargains

With Shannon at the Dollar Tree.

Shan: “Why do they sell thongs at the dollar store?”

Me: (noncommittal grunt of not-really-listening)

Shan: “I guess they’re for broke sluts.”

Me: “Everybody deserves a bargain.”