Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Random Conversation with My Kid about Vampires













Sitting in the living room with my daughter, once again complaining that there is less than nothing to watch on television. This leads to a lively discussion of our very favorite TV show ever – Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  We’re exchanging “quotable quotes” and replaying our favorite scenes. Lots of laughter and “remember this one” ramblings ensue. Later…

Me: “Have you noticed that the worst Buffy episode ever is still better than half the crap that’s on TV now?”

Shan: “Have you noticed that everyone is talking about how vampires are suddenly ‘in’? Helloooo? Buffy came out ten years ago.”

Me: “Twelve actually. Bandwagon missed by over a decade, ye olde merry media thou.”

Shan: “As Buffy would say, ‘Pathetic much?’”

Me: “Yep. That True Blood on HBO is just vampire porn.”

Shan: “No ‘wonderful world of vampire slayage’ and not a single witty pun?”

Me: “Too busy screwin’ to make puns.”

Shan: “Mom! Teenager sitting exactly right here. Gah!”

Me: “Whoops, sorry. Anyway, the Sookie Stackhouse books the show’s based on aren’t much better either.”

Shan: “Speaking of bookage… Don’t even get me started on how boring the Twilight series is… wait, I think I just fell asleep thinking about it.”

Me: “As Buffy would say, ‘Color me surprised.’  I thought the Bella/Edward bandwagon was a must-do for your age group.”

Shan: “Make me yak… You know what would be really cool? It they could cross genres.”

Me: “Shrug?”

Shan: “If they could bring Buffy and all the gang back, but instead of going to Sunnydale, they’d go to Forks and slay all the Cullens. They could recruit Jacob to the Scoobies!”

Me: “That’d be awesome. Then they could go to Hollywood and wipe out every single one of those celebretards on reality TV. I’d upgrade my cable to see that.”

Shan: “That’s it…. I’m writing Joss Whedon. AND Joel McHale.”