Random Conversation with My Kid about Irony

Me: “You contradict everything I say.”

My Kid: “No I don’t.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Shopping

The other day, Shan and I were at the mall. We walked around for a couple of hours and found a few things that we needed but passed over most of the merchandise on display.

After a while, we sat on a bench to rest. (Well, I needed to rest.)

Shan: “Gah! I don't understand why so many kids my age love the mall so much. All this walking around with their nose in the air, spending their daddy's money on overpriced hoodies from name brand stores that scream ‘I'm a poser!’ I'd much rather go to Ross or Walmart.”

Pause.

Me: “I love you!”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Dad’s Cooking

As she always does, the other night, my teenager bellowed from her room -

Shannon: “Mom!!! Mom? Mommy, Lois! What's for dinner?”

Me: “Your daddy's putting a chicken on the grill.”

Shannon: “Chicken AGAIN?”

Me: “Well, it's either that or the puppy.”

Shannon: “Nah, I don't want Chinese.”