Random Conversation with My Kid about Harry Potter

Fun movie day with my kid. Harry Potter and Friends are as fabulous as usual.

Shan says: “Less magic, more angst. Kinda like Degrassi, but with wands.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Television

Sitting in the living room with my kid, trying to find something to watch on television. We have basic cable and hundreds of channels – you’d think there would be something watchable, yes? Shannon has the remote control and is flipping the channels.

Shan: “Omigod! Why is there nothing on TV except fame ‘hos and celebretards??”

Me: “Well, I’m sure there are biographies of recently deceased iconic figures.”

Shan: “I don’t think the infomercial guy was considered iconic, mom.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Pop Music

Sitting in the living room with my kid, talking about “today's” so-called train-wrecky “popular” music. Since I abhor about 99% of the crapfest that comes out amongst the airwaves these days, Shannon is surprised to hear me say -

Me: “I really like that new Black Eyed People song.”

Shan: “It's Black Eyed PEAS, Mom. And ewww. That song has dumb lyrics.”

Me: (consulting Google): “How can you not dig these words? ‘I like that boom boom pow them chicken jackin my style they try to copy my swagger I'm on that next sh*t now.’”

Shan: “I think I just had an aneurysm. Did you just say DIG??”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Marriage

This morning I was whining to Shannon about how her dad keeps asking me to get in the pool, even though I have no interest in it at all. (Can't swim.)

She said, “He just wants you to have fun because he loves you. And isn't marriage supposed to be about accommodation, compromise, and that kinda stuff?”

I snorted, “Who told you THAT?”

Cheerily she replied, “I think God said it. Or maybe Oprah.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Paternity

With My Kid, watching the VH1 100 Greatest Songs of the 80's. The song “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson is number four.

Kid: “You know when you think about it, ‘Billie Jean’ is kind of a creepy song.”

Me: “Two words - paternity test.”

Kid: “Mom, it was the 80s. Paternity wasn't invented yet.”

Me: “The dinosaur stork stopped bringing the babies in the late seventies.”

Kid: “Huh. Yet another myth dispelled.”