Random Conversation with My Kid about Rudeness

With Shan, leaving the checkout line at Walmart. She is tugging on the cart, urging me to come on. I am searching through my purse.

Me: “Just a sec. I’m looking for my keys. AND that clerk’s personality!”

Shan: “You’re gonna need a smaller purse.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Olden Times

Recalling a “debate” that I was having with Shannon recently. She was complaining about being bored, as usual. Also as usual, I went into useless lecture mode about how easy she has it compared to when I was her age.

Me: “When I was your age, I had to work in a tobacco field. Or worse, babysit my bratty little cousins. For 50 bucks a week and I felt like I was rich. I had no computer, much less internet – that wasn’t even invented yet. We didn’t have cable TV, iPods, or cell phones. Texting wasn’t even a word back then. If you wanted to get in touch with a friend, you wrote a letter and put it in the mailbox.”

Shan: “Oh my God! You were Amish???”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Hilarity

Shan went to the movies today with a friend of hers. Later -

Me: “Is Kayla's mom nice?”

Shan: “Yes! She's really nice. I made her laugh a couple of times.”

Me: “That is no surprise. If you're breathing, you're making somebody laugh.”

Shan: “Why? Do I breathe funny??”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Judging

In Target store with Shannon. I am shopping for cleaning supplies and she is bored.

With a sigh, she says, “I'm going over to look at books. Unlike most kids my age, I read.”

Me: “Wow, you are so judgmental. I like that.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Pedestrians

Shan and I were walking through the parking lot to get into the grocery store the other day. As we often do, we exchanged the same-old-same-old verbiage:

Shan: “Slow down.”

Me: “Hurry up.”

Shan: “Gah! You walk too fast.”

Me: “No, I’m old but you’re slow. What’s up with that?”

Or something to that effect…

This particular day, I was trying to encourage her to keep up with me, because as usual, I was in a hurry.

Me: “You see this whole ‘not getting hit by a car’ thing I’m doing? It’s because I am walking FAST.”

Shan: “You know that whole ‘yield to pedestrians’ thing? It’s the LAW in Johnston County.”

Me: “We’re in Harnett.”

Shan: “Oh! Crap!” (walks faster)