Random Conversation with My Kid about Sci-Fi

A few weeks ago, Shannon and I were watching the remake of the science fiction series called V.

SPOILER ALERT –

The aliens, who keep saying that “they come in peace,” are revealed to be lizard-like beings covered with human skin. They’ve been on earth for years, plotting the demise of mankind. Weirdly, one of the reptilian aliens is revealed to be a “good guy.”

Me: “He can’t be a good guy! He’s a lizard and they are cold-blooded.”

Shan: “So are math teachers but that doesn’t mean all of them are evil!”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Chicken

Shannon and I were watching the gospel music channel and heard a great song called “Lay Em Down” by a group called NeedToBreathe.

Shannon: “They sound really good. They remind me of Kings of Leon only not ‘Sex on Fire’ and less ‘sacrifice goats to Satan.’”

Me: “Actually, I think that was chickens in that video.”

Shannon: “I wonder if Satan is like ‘gosh I have chicken too much.’”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Acronyms

Last night I was complaining to Shannon about my increasing lack of memory cells…

Me: “I have AMAS (pronounced ‘a-mass.’)”

Shannon: “You have a Catholic church service?”

Me: “No! It’s an acronym. Advanced Middle Age Syndrome. Okay then - AMAS. (pronounced this time as ‘a-maz.’)”

Shannon: “You have a birthing class??”

Me: “That’s Lamaze!”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Movies

While driving home from a school event one evening, Shannon and I played one of our favorite “car games” – Name That Movie Quote.

Shannon: “Me first. ‘Come with me if you want to live!’”

Me: “Terminator.”

Shannon: “Nooooo. Casper!”

Me: “Well it was in Terminator first.”

Shannon: “But Casper made it more adorable.”

Me: “Okay, whatever. My turn. ‘I got two pickles, I got two …’”

Shannon: “The Little Rascals!”

Me: “I didn’t even get to the good part.”

Shannon (rolls eyes): “My turn. ‘Inconceivable!’”

Me: “The Princess Bride!”

Shannon: “I think we’ve played this game too many times. Dude. We need a new game, seriously.”

Me: “I got one you won’t remember. ‘I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts, doo doo doo doo.’”

Shannon (sighing, bored now): “Lion King.”

Me: “Okay, I give up. New game. Whatcha got?”

Shannon: “Name 25 reasons why Buffy is better than Twilight.”

Me: “Only 25?? I’ll bite, pardon the pun.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Political Correctness

Shannon and I have both been stranded at home with terrible bronchitis. Too much togetherness inevitably leads to bickering sometimes. Then hugs. And then more bickering.

Anyway, I decided to delve into the details of her personal life. Always risky but I was bored.

Me: “You still seein' that Indian boy?”

Shan: “It's NATIVE AMERICAN. We do not say INDIAN. Mother.”

Me: (rolls eyes) “Whatever. And it's not MOTHER. It's MATERNAL UNIT.”

Shan: (frogs me)

It was deserved...