Random Conversation with My Kid about Pop Music

Sitting in the living room with my kid, talking about “today's” so-called train-wrecky “popular” music. Since I abhor about 99% of the crapfest that comes out amongst the airwaves these days, Shannon is surprised to hear me say -

Me: “I really like that new Black Eyed People song.”

Shan: “It's Black Eyed PEAS, Mom. And ewww. That song has dumb lyrics.”

Me: (consulting Google): “How can you not dig these words? ‘I like that boom boom pow them chicken jackin my style they try to copy my swagger I'm on that next sh*t now.’”

Shan: “I think I just had an aneurysm. Did you just say DIG??”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Marriage

This morning I was whining to Shannon about how her dad keeps asking me to get in the pool, even though I have no interest in it at all. (Can't swim.)

She said, “He just wants you to have fun because he loves you. And isn't marriage supposed to be about accommodation, compromise, and that kinda stuff?”

I snorted, “Who told you THAT?”

Cheerily she replied, “I think God said it. Or maybe Oprah.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Paternity

With My Kid, watching the VH1 100 Greatest Songs of the 80's. The song “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson is number four.

Kid: “You know when you think about it, ‘Billie Jean’ is kind of a creepy song.”

Me: “Two words - paternity test.”

Kid: “Mom, it was the 80s. Paternity wasn't invented yet.”

Me: “The dinosaur stork stopped bringing the babies in the late seventies.”

Kid: “Huh. Yet another myth dispelled.”

Random Conversation with My Kid about Boys

Out shopping with my teenager today. A very nice young man helped us find something (yes, in Walmart! I promise this is not fiction.)

Anywho... I said to Shannon, “I like guys who are soft-spoken, all ‘yes ma'am and no ma'am-ish.’”

Her reply: “I like guys who smoke cigarettes, have tattoos, and make fun of authority figures. Are you sure we're related??”

Random Conversation with My Kid about the Past

Today is Shannon's birthday so it's time to do what we usually do... reminiscence! Oh yes, and cake too... In Shan's case, Chinese food is also a must.

Here are my favorite "Shannon-isms" from the years past:

Shan was proud of herself for learning this at pre-school - "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the giant snakes of America." (age 3)

After playing in the rain: "I got soaked in wet today!" (age 4)

After stumping her toe walking to class on her first day of kindergarten - "Ow, my big toe thumb hurts!" (age 5)

Waving good-bye after I dropped her off at Nana's: "See you in the 'morrow." (age 6)

We were at Roses store and they were having a sidewalk sale. A few weeks later we went back to that same store and Shan said, "Look mom, they're having a cement sale again." (age 7)

I finally got a car with one of those auto-door-opener thingys. Shannon was holding the car keys and looking at the icons. She asked, "Is this the button for the shed?" I said, "No that is for the trunk." She said, "Whatever, they both hold junk." (age 8)

Sitting at the bus stop one morning at 6:00. I told Shan to wait in the car with me but she wanted to get out. After a few minutes she said, "Hmm. It's dark. It's rapist dark!" She got back in the car and waited for the bus! (age 13)

There are at least a thousand more that I have forgotten...

Happy birthday to my sweet, funny girl!